The full name stands for Bondage and discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. BDSM is a short term used to refer to a number of sexual preferences and behaviors which are divided into the full name. Despite what many think, BDSM doesn’t have to involve sex at all. You don't have to follow what you think the experience is, do whatever you and your partner consent to doing.
Consent and safe words
Having consent and safe words are the most important things in BDSM. Always make sure that you have consent before you start any plays. Communicate with your partner so that you know what each other are comfortable with doing and what you enjoy. Communication is key because it makes the plan clear and that you both enjoy the play you’re doing.
Safe words are words all parties use when they want to stop. No matter what your role is in the play you must have a safe word. Some people use words they would never use or have no relationship to sex or the play at all like “books” Your safe word could also be a phrase like “I want to read books.” In any case when you can’t talk. Hand gestures, certain body language and even blinking a certain way can let your partner know you want to stop. Please communicate what gestures and safe words you want to use before you play.
Responding to rejection
Hearing a safe word or gesture does not mean its okay to punish them. Having positive reactions to that kind of rejection will let your partner feel safer with you. This will let them know that you will never push them pass their limits without consent. Not everyone can have the courage to say “no” or “stop” but positive reactions always make the situation better
Photo by Le Marquis De La Rose Noire
